Drug Prevention Center

Sam asked:


so i put as my namesmotto on msn messenger, ah kill me and shit.
my baby and i split.
she don’t believe that im sorry and i wont hurt her again But
i can’t aford to lose her
and i sent her this email, do you think she will take me back after telling her this? Let me explain.
————————————————————————-
That Motto I put, “I wish she’d love me”
it wasn’t for you i had an augerment with my mum on the phone that day
she was telling me how much she hated me after i said things to her.
She a drug dealer always been since she was 15, she been doing it for 24 years.
In russia,Moscow in 1994 she got caught selling drugs and went to prison
for 1 yr, i was in her belly at the time, i was sent home when i came out
becasue her trail wasn’t over.
My mum would reather Love drugs,men than me.
that how she ended up with 5 daughters by messing around with men,drugs.
Believe me Im not depressed.
Pfft.
My stepDad Is making my sister’s childhood very harmful ;[
I lost my sister for 5 months casue my stepfather doing the same thing
my mum choose, he reather love weedbeer than my sister.
and He has msn, and i tried so hard for months talking to him about
how my father treated me all my life
he won’t understand Most of the fucking time he always drunk
Those mottos, Ah i wanna die or Ah kill me all those depressed mottos
They aren’t true, I put it there so My stepdad would understand
that my dad has hurt my childhood and made it horrible
and i tried so hard to stop him from harming my sister’s.
she only 8 and she struggling. she had to go somewhere for a while so my stepdad
could work things out she got raped >:[ made me hurt.
Baby im not depressed
reameber that motto i put
“sitting in the conner depressed”
pfft you think i would sit in the dam conner Depressed (LOL!) i’d never do that rofl.!
I never had birthday party or christmas gift
I had nothing until you came along i had the most importantist thing in my life
and I wanted to treat that like i needed it and I will love it.
I don’t hate the world or hate my self.
I’m still getting adopted to my foster parents who lives in long island
:l i got no body there =[ i had u.
My dad dying, my aunt, my uncle i never been around so many dying people.
Im not depressed
Baby you made me feel like i didn’t have to feel ashamed or worried.
I would of told you this earyler but I felt ashamed
i didn’t want you to think of me negatively.
I knew that i could rely on you and I know you’d be there for me and
stuff, But now i got nothing anymore :l.
The motto, No one loves or care about me, I ment my family i didn’t mean you casue
i know u love me and stuff.
I didn’t tell my stepfather that i am lez becasue i didn’t
know what his idea was on gays,bi,lez, My dad and uncle and aunt
and mum knows im lez.
I tried so hard to stop her from stuffering
and I spoke to him about it he don’t Listen.
So i put my names and motto as rude depression casue i though
it’ll get his attenion on listening to what my childhood been like.
You think i am depressed
Maybe once in a while
But serousily Im not depressed every dam day
you didn’t even give me a chance to explain.
=[
Baby i need you really i do.
-CRYS SO HARD IN UR ARMS- Please hold me don’t let me go =[
Reason why i didn’t tell you casue I think you’d think im hopeless or
so. im so sorry i hurted you, You should of told me it did =[.
Your the only girl who really cares and love me =[ i want to love you
not hurt you.
and When i get adopted loads of things are gonna change
You didn’t even give me a chance =[.
You make me happy and Love life
I couldn’t sleep,eat,think right or anything without youu =[ life hurts without you.
Now i got No one to rely on or anything. :[ please i didn’t know my namesmottos hurt you
i was trying to get his attenion =[ Im done talking to him and Everything. You won’t see
another rude namemotto again. I mean everyday I gotta rasied my self, And i gotta learn things on my
own, Im on my own with life, and I had you and ur words helped =[. I mean
this is embrassing ugh but w.e lol, i didn’t learn to potty til i was 7 i didn’t learn to
tie my shoes til i was 8, I am on my own with life and its very hard, I anit depressed. Sometimes
it was depression about us, But after you told me things, I never got depressed about us again.I need to put
those namemotto up for him to look at :, he didn’t really care that my sis(his daughter) got raped.
Ive been beat up by my mum, she beat me with a brush,belt,bat,wood,slipper, My dad has choked me 5 times
and i was so close to dying. i cry everyday im sorry i didn’t mean to hurt you in anyway
-crys- I need you.When you said life will be better with you, I couldnt wait to grow up!
I swear on my life,I never ment to hurt you, you gotta believe me, I wasn’t depressed on us, or on me. it wasn’t real depression. some of them weren’t
, but mostly werent, i did it casue my sister

Lucille